She went from zero to smokin in five shots
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Go christen that room with your naked body.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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