my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
