What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize