Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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