dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
