is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
