Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
