last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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