yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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