Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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