Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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