i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
And then he peed in my hair
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