well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
