can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
