But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
