I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
