i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
