Its about making memories worth repressing
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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