so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
