I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
