Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
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I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Damn victory sex feels great
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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