Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
