i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
