i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
