just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
