He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
