i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
