i just had sex bonerless
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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