Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
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