her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I love having hate sex.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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