Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
