if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
