be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
