Plan B is the new Plan A
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
