while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
