I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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