I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
