he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
