wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
MIDGETS
????
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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