She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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