I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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