Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I need moral support for this bender
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
