..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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