One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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