I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
