Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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