were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
