I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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