Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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