You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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