I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
