So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
