these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
