You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I just forgot I was standing up.
you never un-have a 4some
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
