It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I came so hard my ears popped.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
