Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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