Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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