It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
