just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
The Olympian is in my bed
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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