does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
