Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
