No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
