Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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