who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
