white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
